People Who Touch Your Junk Venn

In: Humor

27 Dec 2010

A little humor for you. Surprisingly accurate.

3 part venn diagram of professionals that touch your junk

69 Responses to People Who Touch Your Junk Venn

Avatar

Mohammed ALakeedi

December 28th, 2010 at 12:09 pm

الحياة والاستشراف المستقبلي

Avatar

anonymous

December 28th, 2010 at 3:53 pm

stupid

Avatar

Critical thinker

December 28th, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Great, now all the pervs will be applying to be TSA agents…

Avatar

Björn

December 28th, 2010 at 5:30 pm

This is completely wrong. This diagram implies there are prostitutes who do not get paid to touch your junk, which is just not true. I also for instance implies that all people who get paid to touch your junk have three very specific professions at the same time.

Avatar

Milind

December 28th, 2010 at 6:26 pm

Bjöm’s concerns can be addressed by just changing the “Prostitutes,” “Doctors” and “TSA” labels to: “Facts about prostitutes,” “facts about doctors” and “facts about TSA agents.”

Avatar

Chris

December 28th, 2010 at 6:29 pm

@Björn

All models are wrong, but some are useful. This one is useful.

Avatar

GreenleafNC

December 28th, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Bjorn is correct. The graphmaker had the right idea but did it wrong.

The circles should be labeled

Circle 1 – Make More Money in an Hour…
Circle 2 – Require Little Training
Circle 3 – Wear Blue Latex Gloves.

The population “Prostitute” goes inside the intersection of circles 1 and 2 (but not 3).
The population “Doctor” goes inside the intersection of circles 1 and 3 (but not 2).
The population “TSA agent” goes inside the intersection of circles 2 and 3 (but not 1)

The phrase “People Who Get Paid to Touch Your Junk” should be the title, not in the three-part intersection.

Which suggests the question: what -should- go in the place that’s defined by all three circles? I’m thinking: New York Freakshow Performer.

Avatar

GreenleafNC

December 28th, 2010 at 6:39 pm

p.s. Freakshow Performer whose act includes “audience participation”.

Avatar

Dane

December 28th, 2010 at 6:50 pm

@Björn… You’re completely wrong… go study Venn Diagrams and Comedy. And maybe get a massage or do some yoga or something, you seem very tense.

Avatar

Zoup

December 28th, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Björn, I think you’ve probably only learned to read this diagram in one kind of way, and that is why you are confused. The diagram is not saying that the lightest sections are talking about people who are not paid to touch your junk with those professions. The circles as wholes represent the professions themselves where the people are paid to touch your junk. The overlaps show some of the traits of their processes of touching your junk that are not unique to only one of the professions. So you read it like this:

Prostitutes and Doctors (both professions that involve touching your junk) make more in an hour than you make in a day. (TSA agents probably don’t make that much).

Doctors and TSA agents both wear blue latex gloves as part of their standard practice of touching your junk. Prostitutes do not.

Prostitutes and TSA agents both really don’t require that much training. Being a doctor requires a lot of training.

The middle-most section refers to something that is common to all three professions: namely, they get paid to touch your junk.

This is a perfectly valid way of expressing information and of reading Venn diagrams (which is what this is). I hope that this lesson will benefit you in the years to come.

Avatar

Chris

December 28th, 2010 at 6:53 pm

Björn, I understand what you mean, but you’re being very narrow in your application of a venn diagram. It’s not just used for populations.

In this case, the three circles do not represent the set of all people with that label, the circles represent the definition of the label. Of all the things that make a TSA agent and a prostitute, their definitions overlap in that they have very little training. Training in, say, bomb identification, is not shared by either prostitutes or doctors, so it would overlap with nothing.

Avatar

Joe

December 28th, 2010 at 6:55 pm

FROM HERE ON… NO MORE TALK ABOUT BJORN!

Avatar

Serg

December 28th, 2010 at 6:57 pm

@Bjorn, this is not wrong, you just need to know how to read a Venn diagram.

While the description is written in only a part of the colored areas, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t fit ALL the colored area. In fact, the description is written in a common area exactly for easily understanding that the description fits both the jobs.

Lets hope your misunderstanding isnt due to guilty conscience..

Avatar

Mark

December 28th, 2010 at 7:01 pm

Björn, do you understand how Venn diagrams work? The overlapping parts indicate things the subjects in the circles (prostitutes, doctors, TSA agents) have in common.

Avatar

Zoup

December 28th, 2010 at 7:01 pm

You guys, I think Joe is feeling left out.

Avatar

PMix

December 28th, 2010 at 7:33 pm

@Bjorn

You’re interpreting it as a different kind of Venn diagram. The attributes described in the overlapping areas that apply to the entirety of each profession of junk toucher. You have it backwards. “Get paid to touch junk” is in the circle of Prostitute rather than Prostitute being a profession listed in the area that is labeled “Get paid to touch junk”

Avatar

Babs

December 28th, 2010 at 7:45 pm

Björn: There are prostitutes who are paid to do things that don’t involve touching your junk. Like sucking toes, or smacking you around with a whip or cane.

One could also argue that here are also prostitutes who aren’t necessarily paid, but who touch your junk in exchange for things like drugs, or promotions at work.

Granted, the Venn diagram may not necessarily be to scale.

Avatar

House

December 28th, 2010 at 7:54 pm

@Björn Have you ever heard of the “Dine and Dash” maneuver? Perhaps the “Screw and Shoot Through” is more common than any of us would imagine?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dine_and_dash

Avatar

znesic

December 28th, 2010 at 8:08 pm

@ Björn

I don’t think you understand how Venn diagrams work. This one means that:

- Prostitutes don’t wear blue latex gloves (doctors and TSA agents do)
- Prostitutes and TSA agents can do their job with very little training (doctors can’t)
- TSA agents don’t make more money per hour than you do for the whole day (doctors and prostitutes do)

HTH

Avatar

Andrew Escobar

December 28th, 2010 at 8:17 pm

Björn,

This is a venn diagram, and as such it its correct.

It doe snot imply that “there are prostitutes who do not get paid to touch your junk” nor does it imply that there are three —and only three— specific professions that get paid to touch your junk.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venn_diagram

Avatar

The Dude

December 28th, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Bjorn, you are reading this chart wrong. Where the circles overlap denotes a common trait. This is a common category circle chart design. You can plainly see they they all overlap the trait “Get paid to touch your junk” and thus all do.

Avatar

The Dude

December 28th, 2010 at 8:20 pm

Crap. Did anyone see all the corrections to Bjorn’s comment before they submitted their own. I didn’t see any of the comments about Bjorn until I submitted mine. What a mess.

Avatar

eM

December 28th, 2010 at 8:23 pm

@Björn: It may be helpful to think of the circles in the diagram as depicting _properties_ (rather than the populations) of doctors, prostitutes, and TSA agents.

Avatar

Dobbs

December 28th, 2010 at 8:30 pm

Umm.. a minor quibble, but, I often pay cheap prostitutes to wear latex gloves while performing a skilled task.

Avatar

Christopher Walker

December 28th, 2010 at 8:42 pm

Look, there’s no doubt that Bjorn is right. All of you who think he should learn what “Venn Diagram” means need to do some learning of your own. His assessment and GreenleafNC’s clarification are completely accurate critiques of this graph from a formal perspective.

Also clear: Bjorn has no sense of humor … ’cause that diagram is funny as Hell.

Avatar

Steve

December 28th, 2010 at 9:20 pm

Excellent diagram.

One nitpick: those blue gloves are nitrile, as some people have latex allergies.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrile_rubber

Avatar

ArtSpot

December 28th, 2010 at 9:35 pm

I don’t know what is funnier, the venn diagram or the analysis in the comments!

Avatar

Sam

December 28th, 2010 at 9:52 pm

Bjorn is correct; the diagram is completely backwards and the author should be ashamed. Why would all you people attack him without first Googling “venn diagram”?

Here is an explanation of how they are supposed to work: http://www.purplemath.com/modules/venndiag.htm

Of course, it could be argued that the standard Venn diagram would not be very illustrative of this particular data and that the author’s modification in this case is intuitive and justified. But to make such an argument, you’d probably want to get your facts straight first.

Avatar

Sam

December 28th, 2010 at 9:56 pm

(In particular, an orthodox venn diagram for this data would have nothing in the intersection of the three circles, which would give the joke a bit less punch)

Avatar

Chancery

December 28th, 2010 at 10:58 pm

Ha, two sources of amusemnt: the diagram and all the sanctimonious incorrect corrections of bjorn. Milind and Greenleaf are both right.

Correct graphs demonstrated off the cuff:

http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq99/zchancew/vennn.jpg

Hopefully people can use these examples to aid in actually understanding what a Venn diagram is so as to not embarrass themselves in the future…

(though by doing that I do diminish my own potential future schadenfreude!)

Avatar

abmjem

December 28th, 2010 at 11:08 pm

I love how all the people who don’t know how to read Venn Diagrams (and think this one makes any sense at all) are being condescending toward Bjorn, who actually knows what he’s talking about.

Read GreenleafNC’s explanation. He’s right (as is Sam). Whomever made this diagram had a funny idea and completely jacked it up by not understanding the medium he was working in.

Avatar

Michael

December 29th, 2010 at 12:07 am

Atrocious kerning, Arial to boot, and jpeg’d on top – Ruined, I say, ruined.

Avatar

Jiggles

December 29th, 2010 at 12:43 am

Hilarious diagram. Sucks that everyone has a stick up their assail about whether it’s accurate. chill the f*** out everyone.

Avatar

Wayzom

December 29th, 2010 at 3:54 am

The message was clear. If you did not get it, your a moron. No one gives a crap if it was a perfect Venn Diagram, it is still funny. Crawl out of your ivory towers and experience the world for the beauty of its imperfections…

Avatar

AzP

December 29th, 2010 at 4:35 am

I’d personally like to thank Chancery, bjorn, Milind and Greenleaf. Especially the first one who gave us the correct Venn diagram for the joke.

It shouldn’t only be funny, it should also be correct! Now I propose that the author of the joke redoes it in accordance to Chancery’s charts (which are highly non-artistic).

Avatar

DontWannaBeBjorn

December 29th, 2010 at 4:50 am

While Bjorn’s right regarding the Venn aspect of the diagram, the author’s point-of-view is intuitively and immediately obvious, is accurate from a colour-theory perspective and is funny to boot! So while it may be an inaccurate Venn diagram, it’s a great (just) diagram.

Avatar

Gazzer

December 29th, 2010 at 5:08 am

“your a moron”
Holy irony, Batman.

[Björn is right, doctors go in the doctor's circle; but who cares, this is funny shit]

Avatar

TallDave

December 29th, 2010 at 10:25 am

An excellent chart, and an excellent job by Bjorn proving that trolling is a art.

Avatar

Komatsu

December 29th, 2010 at 10:26 am

AIIIEIEEEEEEYYAHHHHH! AIIIEEEEYAHHHHH! FUUUUKKKKKKKK BIJORN WHO GIVES A FUUUUCCCKKKK!!! SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OF PEOPLE!

Avatar

SDG

December 29th, 2010 at 10:39 am

Um. Chancery’s second “correction” diagram is identical to the original except that instead of “Doctors” he has “Properties of doctors,” instead of “Prostitutes” “Properties of prostitutes,” etc. If that’s all that’s needed to “fix” the original graph, I think everyone should chillax. The original graph is accurate enough.

Avatar

Mykeru

December 29th, 2010 at 11:17 am

Dammit, where’s the t-shirt? I want one for my next flight.

Avatar

The Daily Patdown

December 29th, 2010 at 11:20 am

LOVE THIS DIAGRAM! SOOOOOOOO GOOD.

BTW, we just launched a new photoblog for TSA patdowns:
http://thedailypatdown.com

Avatar

The Daily Patdown

December 29th, 2010 at 11:20 am

LOVE THIS DIAGRAM! SOOOOOOOO GOOD.

BTW, we just launched a new photoblog for TSA patdowns:
thedailypatdown.com

Avatar

Gregory Goldmaker

December 29th, 2010 at 12:38 pm

Overanalyzing a simple joke doesn’t show you’re really smart.

Avatar

Lamialily

December 29th, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Who’s trolling who?

Avatar

Venn

December 29th, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Looks good to me.

Avatar

Chuck

December 29th, 2010 at 1:51 pm

I see nothing technically wrong with this diagram. Prostitutes and TSA Agents require little training, while Doctors do not [hopefully requiring LOTS of training]. Doctors and TSA Agents wear blue latex gloves, while Prostitutes do not [couldn't agree more ;-)]. Doctors and Prostitutes make lots of money, while TSA Agents do not. And,,all of these professions get paid to touch my/your junk.

Somewhat tasteless but, nevertheless, techincally accurate.

Avatar

Wes

December 29th, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Venn diagrams require thinking outside the box. That is why they are circles.

Avatar

Vik

December 29th, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Bjorn is right – all who say he’s wrong are wrong. Nice illustration though – makes sense to all those that aren’t mathematically inclined.

Avatar

Bigfoot

December 29th, 2010 at 10:05 pm

I’d like to see one in which the three circles represent children, thieves and politicians. The intersection of the 3 sets would read “People who spend other people’s money”.

Avatar

Andrew

December 29th, 2010 at 10:27 pm

Technically everyone is making an assumption that this is a Venn diagram. The OP never stated that it is. Though it looks like it should be, it isn’t a Venn Diagram. BUT it is a perfectly acceptable diagram (by the definition of such) that represents the OP’s idea. It just irritates me that people have the social skills of a fruit bat online. Now it’s making behave as such. Boo.

Avatar

מטבחים

December 30th, 2010 at 2:28 am

so funny!

Avatar

מטבחים

December 30th, 2010 at 2:28 am

so funny! although im not sure how much tsa agents earn

Avatar

Jim

December 30th, 2010 at 3:30 am

Poor Björn! Look at all the hate…can we call you someone to make you feel better? A doctor? Prostitute? Some well-trained person??

Avatar

Sandy

December 30th, 2010 at 8:15 am

an open minded person would simply say lol, you nut!

Avatar

Estevan

December 30th, 2010 at 10:27 am

This is hilarious; forget all the technicalities and learn to enjoy good humor.

Avatar

Russian Sphinx

December 31st, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Women and children who are forced to be prostitutes by mafia earn nothing, just mafia earns more.

I don’t understand you sense of humour.

Avatar

Russian Sphinx

December 31st, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Btw maybe you could do data visualization about slavery, human trafficking more people will learn about the problem.

Avatar

Jim

December 31st, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Wow. Bjorn, you were torn up. Definately more fun reading people bust on your analysis than in the Venn diagrams to being with. Thanks for everyone sharing.

Russian Sphinx: get over it. This example illustrated one problem. I bet with your deep understanding of human trafficking and your long time Russian mafia connections that you could do your own diagram and discuss another problem…

Avatar

Russian Sphinx

January 1st, 2011 at 11:23 am

Jim,

Problem with slavery and trafficking is everywhere, mafia works in each country. No, it is not the truth that there is just Russian mafia. It is global problem.

I believe that it is worth to talk about this problem. I was just suggestion and I hope that somebody will do infographics about this problem. You will be in shock if you know how serious problem is slavery and trafficking in US.

Avatar

Jef Browne

January 1st, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Björn is right. Have you idiots really lapsed back to pre-fourth-grade when we all learned Venn diagrams? It’s a funny diagram, and I lol’d, but when y’all start defending – with smartass remarks – its accuracy, well, as my mom would say, “you don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground.”

And you wonder why American education is dying…

Avatar

thinsmek

January 3rd, 2011 at 2:00 am

Remarkable and Clever Venn Diagram: LOL

Bjorn: LOL

All the @Bjorns: LOL

Avatar

KennyG

January 3rd, 2011 at 1:40 pm

All I want to know is how can I get Bjorn to touch my junk???

Avatar

Jimmay

January 3rd, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Bjorn – Get off message boards and go back on tour with your old band ABBA.

Avatar

Steve

January 6th, 2011 at 10:29 am

I think Bjorn is the only person here who actually DOES know how a Venn diagram works.

Avatar

Vlad

January 10th, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Bjorn’s comment is not true re: the diagram implying there are prostitutes that do not get paid to touch junk (that is, unless the diagram has been amended in the interim).

Avatar

bstrd

January 17th, 2011 at 12:41 pm

U all crappy bastards hahahaah..who the fuck cares about what Bjorn thinks this is funny shit not a how-to-make-charts lesson…..u losers…..so wait a second, go up an see he chart, and start laughing..u idiots

Avatar

Joel

January 19th, 2011 at 1:04 am

Avatar

Kesha of wegotkidz.com

September 1st, 2011 at 12:14 am

y’all are reading just a bit too much into it. lol! it’s cute!

Comment Form

What is Chart Porn?

An addictive collection of beautiful charts, graphs, maps, and interactive data visualization toys -- on topics from around the world.

  • Mahakal / מהכאל: "Einstein's relativity work is a magnificent mathematical garb which fascinates, dazzles and makes p [...]
  • John Hawkins: would have been ever more dramatic if you used area! [...]
  • Drumwaster: And where do you suppose the electricity comes from? Unicorn treadmills? How about the infrastructur [...]
  • Michael F: Any way you look at it, there's a heckuva lot more (re-usable) Lithium for batteries than (one-time [...]
  • Hoeby: This is a fun representation but as with many guestimates and approximate science it will always be [...]